


Let Me Forget

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:07:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23670550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: Lily just wants to bring Regulus back for the people who love him. Regulus wants to forget to protect them.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31
Collections: Charms: 2020 Round Two





	Let Me Forget

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [TheSlytherinCabal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSlytherinCabal/pseuds/TheSlytherinCabal) in the [DBQ2020Round2](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DBQ2020Round2) collection. 



> "Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me but are the property of J.K.R. and Warner Bros. No copyright infringement is intended. The theme for this round of the competition was Charms and my chosen pairing was [Lily Evans and Regulus Black]. Comments/Reviews are encouraged by The Slytherin Cabal's Admin Team on all stories in Death By Quill, but comments left by readers are set to be moderated by story authors until the end of the competition in order to protect participants' anonymity. Thank you to my beta for their time and help."

The woman with the emerald green eyes told him his name was Regulus Arcturus Black. That was an odd name, wasn’t it? A bizarre name indeed. He had a brother named Sirius.

”My name, Reg, is Lily Evans Potter. I was a friend of yours. Do you know who I am?” The woman asked hopefully.

”No, I do not. It's like I have been in a mixing bowl. I don't remember anything except that I am not supposed to remember,” Regulus said nervously. ”If I have a brother, Lily, why isn't he here?”

”It upsets him to see you like this, Regulus. He misses you so much, but the last time he visited, you thought he was trying to kill you. I am hoping with my work of piecing together all the memories of your past from others - maybe you can leave this place.”

”Why would I try to hurt him? What caused me to forget?” Regulus asked her. ”Did someone hurt me?”

Her green eyes shifted away and stared out the window. 

”Please tell me?” He pleaded with her. ”Surely I deserve to know?”

”I am hoping if you can remember, you might be able to tell us.”

He nodded, and she began to speak. Lily told him about his past - a past that truly did not feel like his own.

* * *

When Regulus Black became a Death Eater, he believed he was going to do grand things. He was going to be someone who went down in history for doing important things. Voldemort seemed like he had all the right ideas. 

Muggleborns were the problem. They were causing all of the unrest in the wizarding world. They were the reasons impure couples were giving birth to Squibs - they did not respect pureblood traditions. Albus Dumbledore and his ilk were the problem, wanting them to integrate with the creatures that were no better than apes. 

They still killed each other for stupid reasons. They still thought someone was less than because they had different colour skin. They still thought women weren't as smart as men. 

The Dark Lord was related to Salazar Slytherin himself. He was the founder’s heir; he was going to bring back the old ways - the way the world used to be. Regulus was going to help, as were his friends. 

Long before Regulus had been allowed to join the inner circle, he had clipped from The Daily Prophet anything he had been able to find on his hero. He was desperate to memorialise what he one day would be a part of. His parents were so proud of him for doing so. Regulus was the Black family’s last hope for a proper heir, after his older brother Sirius had been blasted off the family tree for being a Gryffindor and a blood traitor. 

Sirius just didn't understand, and that pained Regulus. The only thing that would have made his marking better was if it would have been Sirius at his side, not Snape. He would make his brother see one day, and together they would be kings in the new wizarding world. Side by side, as they had always been. 

That was the plan - until the Dark Lord decided to hurt Kreacher. The only thing that Regulus loved more than his brother was that house-elf. Kreacher had been there for everything. When his mother was too busy with her parties and her friends? Kreacher had been the one to read the boys bedtime stories. He had been the one to heal their childhood bumps and bruises. He was the one who made them their birthday cakes. 

Kreacher was the one who dried their tears when their father was too drunk and screamed at them for the littlest thing. He punished them, of course, but it always had a purpose. He also didn't use curses like their mother did. Sometimes when Regulus lay in his bed late at night, he wished - no, he pleaded to Merlin - that Kreacher would take him and Sirius away from this place.

The elf, however, always reminded the Black boys how lucky they were to have a mother and father like the master and mistress. Many children didn't have parents as good as them. Regulus nearly believed Kreacher, but the old creature’s smile never truly reached his eyes, as if he too didn't believe the words he told his charges were true.

* * *

Next time Lily visited Regulus, she brought a photo album with her. Inside were memories from his childhood, and Sirius thought it might help his brother remember more. She found him sitting in his hospital room, writing down a list of all the things he knew. 

”Hi Reg, how has your day been?”

The man didn't respond; his wavy black hair covered one blue-grey eye as he chewed on his quill. 

”Lily, does the name Kreacher mean anything to you?” Regulus asked her as he turned to face the window. 

”He’s your family’s house-elf I can see if he can visit, if you would like?” 

”Please. I don't mean to impose, but sometimes I swear I get flashes of someone who I can only assume is him,” Regulus mumbled. ”Or it could be the house-elves here...they are the only ones besides you who want anything to do with me, it seems. Did I do something wrong? Is that why I have this weird mark on my arm?”

Lily knew what would happen if they had this conversation. She had made that mistake last time. That was what led to Regulus only remembering he was a Death Eater and nothing else. Regulus called her that name and then tried to attack his brother. Severus said they had to ease Regulus into his own memories - if he never remembered the war, it would likely be for the best. They could even claim Regulus was a spy like him, and that's why he was marked. 

The man needed to remember enough to survive in the wizarding world, but not enough to spark another incident. Or worse - for him to again obliviate himself. There was only so much the mind could take before it cracked. Regulus had come very close to that. That was why they couldn't just use charms to replace memories back into his mind. 

Healers considered Regulus Black a lost cause. Lily had her mastery in charms, and with the help of Severus, they were trying to come at the problem with both potions and charms. But as it stood, after the last time they had learned charms were not the answer. So they were trying the Muggle method of just talking to the patient who had lost their memory. Some visits went better than others. 

The biggest problem with the Muggle method was the fact Regulus didn't have his memories still. His brain didn't have damaged parts blocking them. They simply no longer existed, or so they believed. Their work was proving that might not be the case. 

If it were anyone else besides Sirius’s brother, Lily would have walked away months ago. But this man _was_ Sirius’s brother. His baby brother at that. After her own falling out with her sister, Lily couldn't bear the thought of the brothers being separated by a simple improperly-cast charm. Even if everyone, including Severus, thought she was crazy for not walking away.

”Regulus, why don't we go through this photo album together?” Lily softly said as she reached out to touch the man’s shoulder. Next time she would bring him proper pyjamas. They still had him in a ridiculous hospital gown. There was nothing wrong with Regulus’s body, only his mind. They kept him isolated from other patients because of the incident - while the staff avoided him because of the fact he was once a Death Eater, even if he didn't remember it. 

Lily thought to herself, the whole lot of them have a prejudice against anyone they deem other. Whether they are willing to admit it or not is another story.

”Okay,” Regulus whispered, as he turned to face her and leaned onto her shoulder. ”Let’s do that.”

He reminded her of Harry in this instant. As if Regulus was simply a scared little boy, who had awoken in a strange land with no memory of who he was or where he was from. 

”Let’s together see if we can find photos of Kreacher and maybe even Sirius - would you like that?” 

Regulus smiled the same crooked grin that Sirius always flashed. Maybe this time it would work, and the brothers could be happy again, Lily could only hope and pray to whomever was listening. Please, she thought, let him come back to us.

* * *

Regulus had figured it out; he figured out the Dark Lord’s secret. What the man had done had come at a terrible cost, an unimaginable price. Whether or not the Dark Lord would admit it, he was still a man. This type of magic did not turn you into a unicorn or some other kind of immortal creature - it simply warped what you were and made you into something else. 

It went against nature for a person to live forever. Every pureblood child knew that. Their mothers, fathers and even house-elves taught them as children that there were lines you did not cross. Magic always had a price; magic was never free, and it seemed no one had ever informed Regulus’s master of that fact. Voldemort had never learned that just because you _could_ do something did not mean you _should_ do something. 

Regulus was lucky that his mother had a replica of Salazar Slytherin’s locket. It wasn't exactly identical, but with a few spells? If you didn't know better, you would think they were the same. Now it was time to take the copy to the dark cave on the seashore to try to get rid of the unnatural creation of the Dark Lord. 

Regulus knew there that there was a rather good chance he would not survive this. He wouldn't ever reunite with his brother Sirius. He would never have kids, get married or take his place at the head of the Black family. Even if Regulus did live, against all the odds, he knew he had to do something to make sure that Tom Riddle could not find the information in his mind. 

He could not simply pluck the memories out and hide them away. That would only make it more dangerous for those Regulus loved. Regulus knew in his heart of hearts that he had to destroy the memories - make them impossible to retrieve. He had to obliviate himself. 

No one was likely ever going to know what Regulus was doing. No one was going to know about the fact he was the only Death Eater ever to turn away from the Dark Lord. But Regulus was not Sirius; he was not a Gryffindor - he was not in this for the glory. This, for Regulus, was about righting a wrong and fixing a betrayal of magic. Horcruxes were not supposed to be created. 

At the very end of the day being a pureblood witch or wizard meant following nature, and that meant not living forever. Regulus Black pulled on his coat, shoved the locket into his pocket, and took hold of the hand of his closest companion. His first friend, his nursemaid, the creature who would stand beside him through everything - Kreacher. Together they would face what was to come. But, unlike Voldemort, Regulus would not torture the elf and he would make sure, no matter what, his friend would live.

”Kreacher, always remember that I love you.” Regulus whispered. ”You are the most loyal of house-elves.”

”Master!” Kreacher cried. ”I do not deserve you, master. Master, you are the most wonderful, caring and deserving master. It is a pleasure to serve you, Master Regulus.” The house-elf flung himself at Regulus and wrapped his narrow arms around his master’s legs. 

”Kreacher, I love you, and I always will,” he said softly to the elf. ”Always remember that.”

”Master, we shouldn't do this! The cave is unsafe and filled with dark magic.”

Regulus untangled the elf from him and kneeled in front of Kreacher, taking the elf’s overly large head in his hands. ”And that, my friend, is why you must take me there.” They both started to cry, arms wrapped around each other, house-elf and the boy he had cared for, who was now finally a man. 

* * *

Lily knew this was something that could either help Regulus get better or make things worse. But it had to be done. When she fetched Kreacher from the rotting Grimmauld Place, he had snarled and called her a stupid Mudblood, and then the portrait of Walburga had started to scream about Mudbloods in her home. 

Lily was not a person prone to violence, but she wanted to blast the portrait off the wall. ”I am trying to save your son, you stupid fool! Kreacher, don't you want to help Master Regulus? He needs you, and he misses you.”

”Master Regulus needs Kreacher?” 

”Yes, he does.” 

That was how they ended up this way, walking through the halls of Saint Mungo’s. They were a rather odd pair, the Muggleborn witch and the house-elf of the Black family, but they both cared for Regulus Black, and that was all that mattered. 

Lily knocked on Regulus’s door. ”Regulus, it's me, Lily. And I have someone to visit you.” 

No answer.

”Reg?” 

Lily turned the brass doorknob, and it creaked as it opened. The sound made her nervous - something in her very core was telling her to run, but she knew she could not. Lily was a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors did not run. Regulus sat in a chair in the far corner of the room, his back to them. He wore the pyjamas she had brought to him on her last visit. His too-long hair had been brushed out, so unlike the last time she was here.

”Hello, Evans. Or is it Potter now?” Regulus asked. His voice no longer reminded her of her son, but of the Death Eater he had once been.

”Regulus, you remember things now?”

”Evans, didn't Snape teach you not to mess with things you don't understand?” He asked her coolly. ”Just like when you came to Hogwarts, you are messing with things that are far above your intelligence - far above your heritage. Go back to your son, Evans, before you learn something you don't want to know. Not everything can be fixed, or should be.”

”Kreacher, why don't you go talk to Regulus. I am sure he misses you,” she muttered. ”Regulus, I am only trying to help you. Sirius misses you so much, Sev does too, and Andy. We just want you to come back to us. We just want you to be yourself again. We just want you to be happy.”

Regulus leapt out his chair, spun around like a viper and pinned Lily to the far wall before she could even get her wand out. His eyes were no longer like the sea on a cloudy day, but like a thundercloud or ice. He snatched her wand straight out of her coat pocket where she always kept it. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily watched as the house-elf banged his head against the wall.

”Must keep Master Regulus’s secret!” he howled. ”Must keep Master Regulus’s secret!” 

”Evans!” Regulus shouted. ”The only way to protect my brother is for me to forget. For me to forget the Dark Lord’s secret.” 

It was like time stood still. The man placed her willow wand to his temple and cried, ”Obliviate.” 

The door slammed open, and Severus Snape launched himself at Regulus. Lily heard the resounding crack as the Black heir’s head bounced off the tile floor. 

”Severus, no!” Lily cried. ”He wasn't going to hurt me! The only one he hurt, like last time, was himself!”

”We need to stop this, Lily!” He growled at her. ”He’s only getting more and more dangerous. Each time he forgets even more basic things. The mind cannot handle all of this trauma. One day he's not going to wake up at all!”

”I just can’t give up, Sev,” Lily cried. ”He’s Sirius’s brother.”

”Every single time he remembers Lily, he's triggered by something. I think I now know what the trigger is. Kreacher. The problem with that is? So many of his memories are also tied to Kreacher. He can't remember his life without remembering Kreacher...”

”And if he remembers Kreacher, he remembers Voldemort.” 

”Exactly,” Severus snapped with venom in his voice. ”Saving him, Lily - it's not going to bring your sister back. It's not going to bring James back. You have to let go. You should walk away, Lily and never look back. The Dark Lord is dead. Make Regulus’s sacrifice worth it. Let's live a life together, with Harry. Please, Lily, he needs his mother.”

With a few simple charms, Severus had Regulus tucked back into his hospital bed. Kreacher hugged his sleeping master and whispered, ”I am sorry, master. Please come back to me.”

That's why a few weeks later, Lily introduced herself to Regulus again. 

”Hello. My name is Lily Evans Potter, and your name is Regulus Arcturus Black. I was a friend of yours. Do you know who I am?” The woman asked hopefully. She was setting into motion once again the torture of both of their souls. Lily hoped this time it would end differently from the last six. 


End file.
